I have a Labrador ! 

I was buying a large bag of Winalot at Tesco and was in line to
checkout. A woman behind asked if I had a dog? 
On impulse and thinking it was a stupid question, I told her no
and that I was starting the Winalot Diet again.  
I added that I probably shouldn't because I had ended up in
hospital last time, but because I'd lost 50 pounds before I awoke in an
intensive care ward, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs
in both arms, I was willing to try it again.  
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot biscuits and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.   
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue
was by now enthralled with my story.  
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me.  
I told her no.